Last week I released my third official short film on YouTube. After doing an experimental comedy short last semester with ‘The Final Project‘, I wanted to return to making something more serious and personal like my first short, ‘The Other Side‘.

Background Information

Depression is a difficult topic because there’s such a widespread misunderstanding of it. To many, it’s not a big deal, it’s just a temporary state of sadness. But the truth is depression is a disease, and it can often become deadly. Sadness is the symptom most people associate with depression, but it’s not the only symptom. Depression can often include the lack of emotion, or apathy. It affects your sleeping habits, your diet, your weight, your entire body. It can cause you to be volatile, irritable, antisocial.

Because so many people lack a general understanding of depression, it causes them to cause accidental harm to their friends and family members who suffer from depression. One of two things often occurs when someone who doesn’t truly understand depression deals with a loved one who has it: (1) they avoid the depressing person altogether, or (2) they simply dismiss it; both actions can actually worsen the situation. I’ve seen many people choosing to avoid hanging out with a depressing friend because of the negative attitudes stemming from the symptoms of depression. Doing this actually isolates a depressed person even more. I’ve also seen them dismiss their depressed friends with phrases like “get over it” or “being happy is a choice.” Dismissing our depressed friends with these kinds of comments invalidates their feelings, which is one of the worst things you can do for someone with depression.

Medication can help battle depression, but sometimes it’s just a waiting game. Sometimes, depression is something you’ll have to endure before winning the battle. And enduring that with a good support system is the best way to deal with depression. You don’t have to have had experienced depression before to help a friend cope with theirs. Even if you’ve never been depressed, therefore not knowing how your depressed friend can really feel, you can still be their support system simply by staying with them in their time of need. Endearing words like “I can’t possibly understand what you’re going through, but I appreciate you telling me how you feel” can go a long way in helping a friend cope with depression.

Through this short film, I wanted to bring depression to the forefront in order to help educate people on the topic. Admittedly, I’ve suffered from depression the past three years of my life, though it’s typically been on and off. This past year has been the worst. I’ve been sleep-deprived, yet I’ve also slept excessively, I’ve had mood swings, I’ve had an inconsistent appetite, I’ve felt hopeless, all of this due to depression. It’s something we generally avoid talking about, almost taboo-like, because it carries so much negative weight. It feels embarrassing to admit you have depressing because you feel weak. I’ve never spoken about my own depression to anyone, not even my closest friends or family members. I think the main reason why I’ve kept it to myself is because I feel like I can handle it on my own. Certainly it would’ve been a lot better to have told someone and have someone help me along the way, but a part of me also doesn’t want to burden anyone with my problems. I know that’s not a solution. Luckily, it has never gotten too bad to where I’ve ever though of self-harm. To me, at least for now, my depression is something I feel I can handle on my own and that will pass with time. But others are not so lucky, and I want to make that aware.

The Story

Two years ago I wanted to present a time travel story simply because I loved the gimmick when it’s done well. However, the idea eventually evolved into ‘The Other Side’, which, if you’ve seen, is a simple drama that has nothing to do with time travel. In the process for this most recent short film, I once again attempted to make a time travel short. Again, it slowly evolved into a story entirely unrelated to time travel. I don’t know if this time travel idea will ever come to fruition but I man can try, right?

My original idea for the time travel story involved a couple whose relationship ends in tragedy when one of them commits suicide. The other person would somehow travel back in time to their last day with the deceased, and the plot would’ve had the person continue to relive that last day in order to avoid the reality of their loved one’s death. I didn’t really have specific details to the story, just general ideas.

Why suicide? The past year or two, I’ve been more active on the social networking site called Tumblr. I’ve had an account for years but never really understood how to use it until recently. Through this website, I was able to learn more about mental illness and depression, and how people should treat those with this illness. The site is full of people who understand all of this, and who are extremely supportive of one another. I try to use what I learned from this site in the real world, particularly when I’m around friends of mine who do exhibit signs of depression. Also the fact that the Loyola community lost one of its members to suicide early in the semester, as well as knowing one of my own family members killed herself years ago, contributed to my decision to focus on mental illness. Like I’ve stated in my “Background Information” paragraph, I’ve noticed friends of mine avoid their own friends or other people who have mental illness, and one has even told me “I don’t understand depression.” I wanted to use this short film as an opportunity to educate the general public, especially my friends, about the serious subject matter. Hopefully they can take what they’ve learned from this film and be able to apply it to their own personal lives.

Story Analysis

The story of Dani and Parker is told in a slightly nonlinear fashion for a very good reason. First, it makes the story more dynamic; if it was entirely straightforward, it would have been boring. The purpose of the nonlinear storyline is to reveal certain bits of information at specific times. Originally I tested out different editing techniques to see how I could best present information. One idea was to change the amount of darkening filter I had in each scene to convey a sense of time. For example, scenes that take place the earliest in terms of chronology would’ve been the darkest and most desaturated in color, whereas the most recent scenes in chronology would be more bright and true to the color of its original shot. Another test I did was have some scenes in black-and-white to make sure the audience can understand it’s a flashback. However, I eventually went with no black-and-white shots because I figured the audience would be smarter than I give them credit for. No one likes to feel pandered to, and I know the general audience could figure out the general timeline on their own, especially upon second viewing. I did make every shot more grey in post-production to set the serious mood, and I made the earliest scenes, in terms of chronology, colored and filtered a little differently from the rest of the film to subtly hint that the scenes are flashbacks.

The film opens with the main character Dani lying in bed, sad and remembering an argument with Parker. We don’t know what the argument was, or what her relation to Parker is. Let’s call that scene the Voicemail Scene. The following scene is the Kitchen Scene, where Dani is with her friend Jennifer, and she receives the news of Parker’s suicide. Cut to a flashback (The Fight Scene) to show the big fight Dani and Parker had, which inevitably causes his suicide. The scene after returns to the linear chronology with a Montage Scene of Dani living her normal life, but she’s feeling sad due to Parker’s death. Next is the Hallway Scene, in which Jennifer consoles Dani, and then the Apology Scene in which Dani admits her faults to Theresa (and Parker). Lastly, the film ends with a flashback to The Couch Scene, which, in terms of chronology, is the very first scene in the story.

The order of the scenes as presented in the film:

1. Voicemail Scene

2. Kitchen Scene

3. Fight Scene

4. Montage Scene

5. Hallway Scene

6. Apology Scene

7. Couch Scene

The scenes in actual chronological order:

1. Couch Scene

2. Fight Scene

3. Kitchen Scene

4. Montage Scene

5. Voicemail Scene

6. Hallway Scene

7. Apology Scene

Scene Analysis

Voicemail Scene: The opening scene is Dani lying in bed almost lifeless. We see glimpses of a fight between Dani and Parker, but we don’t know the context. She calls Parker’s phone twice, but the audience does not know the nature of their relationship yet. Through his voicemail, we can hear the Parker that used to be. This Parker is happy, energetic, and full of life – the total opposite of the Parker we meet later on. Establishing a pre-depressed Parker is the purpose, as well as raising the question “Why were they fighting?” and “Why is she sad?”

Kitchen Scene: this scene between Dani and her friend Jennifer simply shows a normal, everyday woman in Dani. The scene’s importance is Jennifer, however. When Dani receives news of Parker’s death, it instantly impacts her. The way Jennifer deals with Dani’s sadness, Dani’s need for someone to be there for her, it’s exactly how Dani didn’t behave in regards to Parker. Thus, Jennifer is the example of how to act in bad times. And when Jennifer ends the scene with “You did nothing wrong. Nothing,” that last “Nothing” hits home to Dani because she realizes she truly did nothing to actually help Parker in his depressed state.

Fight Scene: this scene between Parker and Dani shows a Parker desperate for help. He simply wants Dani to understand his pain, but Dani dismisses his cries for help as a nuisance. She just believes he can be happy if he chooses to be happy, which is a common mistake many people make when they don’t truly understand depression. In the beginning of the fight, Parker is below Dani – he’s sitting, she’s standing. This was to convey Parker’s low point and Dani not understanding it. Parker finally stands up to make a last-ditch effort to make Dani understand, but she doesn’t. He sits back down again. Dani sits down with him – she’s finally getting down to his level, perhaps in an effort to truly understand. But she quickly reverts back to her dismissive argument and tells him to “Get over it.” It’s the final blow.

Montage Scene: the purpose of this montage is to show Dani going about her everyday life like normally, but she’s obviously sad and not paying much attention to her surroundings. When we show that the classroom is empty around Dani, it’s not really empty, but it’s meant to convey the emptiness her character feels.

Hallway Scene: once again, Jennifer shows us (and Dani) how you should treat a friend who’s sad, in grief, or depressed. Whether or not Dani’s character is depressed was never the point – Dani is in need of help and Jennifer sees the signs and does something about it. This scene is the point at which Dani learns exactly what she should’ve done in regards to Parker’s situation.

Apology Scene: Dani finally admits her wrongdoings and faults in regards to her treatment of Parker. In this scene we were influenced by the magic realism used in ‘Six Feet Under’ and thought it’d be great to use it in one of most important, most honest scenes. While Dani confesses her faults to Jennifer, we show Parker there too because Dani’s confession is, in a way, an apology to Parker.

Couch Scene: the final scene in the film is technically the very beginning of the story. We see Parker’s very first attempt at being honest with Dani and telling her about his depression. We also see Dani’s first experience in dealing with Parker’s depression. This scene plants the seeds that leads to the pair’s inevitable fight scene and breakup. When Parker says “You’re right…,” we’re meant to feel his pain since we know what happens to him.